What does this actually mean? I’ve heard for a long time that it’s important. To live in harmony with yourself. And immediately questions were triggered in me:
What if others don’t like it?
Can I handle rejection?
I don’t like aggression, what if I provoke it?
Maybe it’s better to be ‘polite’?
And won’t I “hurt” the other person by doing so?
For me, these were questions of a heavy calibre and somewhat screwing me with a huge sense of guilt. “Safer”, then, was to do what suited others and pray that it was fairly in line with my needs. I didn’t even think about my heart anymore at that point. And it all had one denominator: ‘I was assuming a scenario in advance’ and this scenario was often ‘black’.
Of course, this did not come from nowhere. As I ‘matured’ and discovered the meaning of the words coming from the Soul, I made attempts to measure myself against my lack of comfort. I have chosen different paths. Because living in harmony with myself, for me, is a constant wandering. Trying different flavours. Choosing different paths. Getting out of my comfort zone. And above all, being attentive to the voice coming from within.
What silence it takes to hear it. What insight to see. What wisdom is needed to understand that this is the voice?
And what strength to follow it? Was I ready to take on this challenge?
This is what happened many years ago. I took up the challenge and a lot has happened since I started living in harmony with myself. I discovered the answers to the questions I was asking myself:
Yes, many people didn’t like it. Those left. However, others came in their place. Wow. That was a big surprise and I was very pleased.
Yes, she got over the rejection. It was only when I came to love myself. And I am never alone. I only felt it in the most difficult moments.
Yes, I did stir up aggression. But I realised that I wasn’t the one doing it. And underneath the layer of aggression, there is a deep sadness and maybe even grief in the other person. And it has nothing to do with me. Everyone has their own inner world.
Yes, I often got “strokes” for being “polite”. However, the price I paid was too high. Even my health suffered.
Yes, the other person would sometimes reproach me for ‘hurting’ them, because they felt discomfort or even pain, or maybe sadness, anger or malice. And what that person didn’t yet know was that it had nothing to do with me, that I was just a mirror in which he was looking through.
It was so easy for me to say: you’re hurting me, it’s because of you, why are you doing this to me, I’m sad because of you … I could give plenty of examples like this. These words no longer come from the moment I realised that nothing that others say or do is because of me. These words came to me with the book “The Four Agreements”. They are also what make me feel calmer today, full of confidence and living in harmony with myself.
And even though I don’t always get what I want and what I need (read: gosh, really this?! I don’t want it!) 😉 I accept and have permission within myself for just that.
And what are the other agreements of living in harmony with yourself? You’ll find it all in Don Miguel Ruiz’s book The Four Agreements.
The blob you see here in the picture is … ‘living in harmony with yourself’. The sunrise, the silence coming from the sound of the waves and the cry of the seagulls. The sun I locked for a moment in a drop of living in harmony with myself.
The following words come from this very book:
“Be impeccable with your words.”
Speak coherently. Say only what you think. Avoid using words against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your words so that they lead to truth and love.
“Don’t take anything personally.”
Nothing that others do happens because of you. What others do or say is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. If you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you will not become a victim of unnecessary suffering.
“Don’t assume anything in advance”.
Find the courage to ask questions and express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and disappointment. By following just this one rule, you can completely transform your life.
“Do everything to the best of your ability”.
Your ‘best’ will constantly change. It will be different when you are healthy and different when you are ill. In all circumstances, simply do everything to the best of your ability and you will avoid self-judgement, condemnation and regret.
A day of living in harmony with yourself I wish you.