Chaos of excess

Moving time exposes … the junk accumulated in the nooks and crannies of the flat. I feel anxious about opening yet another cupboard. I feel like walking out, closing the door behind me and not returning to this excess of stuff. I’m in a place of chaos and I’m overwhelmed with terror. I feel like I’m in a stable of Augias. And I don’t yet know that sweeping needs to be done with a handle. That moment is yet to come.

It started with the sideboard I had prepared for removal. The enormity of the things it held surprised me in a way that I still can’t get together. And it won’t get any better. A huge wardrobe, two and a half metres wide, awaits me. I’m afraid to look into it. Maybe I’ll do it with my eyes closed. Or maybe in desperation I’ll pack everything in bags and take it to the Red Cross. Where I will be living, I don’t even have 1/10th of the space to put the trophies of my consumerism.

I am just experiencing the bitterness and disappointment of how much I contribute to littering the place where I live. And while it’s unpleasant and even embarrassing, it’s not at all easy for me to choose the most necessary items that I will use. I once read this question, “If you could only take one thing with you, what would it be?” I don’t have an answer to that question yet. I look around and my gaze stops on one item after another. In fact, there is nothing here that I can’t do without.

I felt that this move was a rare and perhaps unique opportunity to free myself from the amount of objects I currently own. In less than a month’s time, a car will arrive to collect my belongings to take them to Tenerife. And I haven’t even started packing them yet. I have sat down and breathed. And I write. I already know that I will sell most of it and give it away. There is a growing conviction in me that I will manage without them and even feel lighter. Will that happen? I don’t know. Life will tell.

Ahead of me is a life with Nature. My care for her is also a limitation on the things I will bring to my land. I felt like a first-grader in the school of minimalism. “Apart from blue skies, I don’t need anything today.”

The soul laughs 🙂 “Everything has already been taken care of”.